You should never run out of fucks!
For the champions of the "I've run out of fucks to give" philosophy, this subscription is an ode to you. Never run out of fucks again.
Every month, Mister Happy Fucker designs and manufactures a brand new fuck so you never get bored.
Just Need 1 Fuck - $2.99/month: The loner package. For when you can only muster up the energy for one, single, solitary fuck, and even that's pushing it. It’s your monthly badge of honor, a testament to the art of sheer indifference.
Support pak - 4 Fucks for $7.99/month: Maybe, just maybe, you’ve got a select few you’d consider sparing a fuck for. Hand them out like gold because, in your world, they are. Four New Fucks, once a month, because you’re choosy about where those fucks go.
Manager Pak - 8 Fucks for $12.99/month: Overseeing a mini-army, be it tantrum-throwing kids or adults behaving like kids? Eight of the same monthly designs to distribute, because leadership in a fuck-depleted world requires resources.
Family Pak - 12 Fucks for $17.99/month: Families, right? The ones you can't live with and can't...well, you know. Distribute these monthly reminders to keep things fucking civil and as a nudge that while you don’t have many fucks left, they might just get one.
Therapist Pak - 16 Fucks for $19.99/month: Because let's face it, dealing with other people’s fucking problems when you're struggling to care about your own is tough. Sixteen fuck totems to humorously keep track of how many fucks you've given away... and how many you've kept for yourself.